My gender confirmation surgery (vaginoplasty) happened on May 19th, so it’s just over 6 months ago. I wrote about it here. There have been several bumps along the way. Some scary moments relating directly to the surgery (thinking my skin graft failed) and some other associated issues (discovering an allergy to sulfa anti-biotics). Despite being months out, and expecting I would be further along in my recovery by now, I feel strong overall.
I’ve been able to get mostly back to my regular schedule, which includes lots of walking and the occasional cardio dance class. My health is in the zone, from blood pressure to lipid panel. Along the way I’ve been seen a few times by my surgeon and other doctors. I’ve been assured everything is healing properly.
The Not So Great
Dilating is still tough. I deal with more pain and difficulty than I expected at this point. Until the other day none of this seemed to surface red flags for any of my medical partners. On Monday I had my first gynecological appointment. Without going into too much detail, I am left with the news that “there’s nothing seriously wrong, but there’s an issue we have to deal with”. I am currently awaiting word from the medical team after they pow wow to determine the next step(s). I may be dealing with some internal skin that is not healing properly. If this is the case, it seems a fairly common issue after this kind of surgery. But we don’t quite know yet, and I’ll need a deeper examination to find out what’s really going on. What kind of exam, and who will perform it, is the news I await. And I haven’t a clue when that info will reach me.
In addition to solving this pressing problem, I am also still waiting for a 6-month check with the surgeon and will hopefully finally have a conversation about a revision surgery that will help tie up one other loose end. The surgeon wouldn’t even discuss it until “at least 6 months” post op. Now, despite the fact it’s beyond that, I have to wait for an appointment.
So Where am I Right Now?
At this moment I’m feeling frustrated. My days are dominated by the need to dilate. I’ve recently shifted from 3 dilations per day to 2. This has freed up my waking hours somewhat, but my days still must be built around the dilation schedule, which has to happen in a quiet, private setting. Theoretically, at some point in the future, my dilation won’t be such a hungry monster, but for now I’m still in this chapter. I don’t regret anything, but I’m feeling rather bratty these days about the schedule and the discomfort it forces on me. Sad trombone.
I thought I would be farther along by now. It’s different with each person, and I am 54 years old after all. I look forward to a time when I can move on with my life. It’s been a long year, full of challenges. Of course, all these challenges were by my own choice, so I remain ever grateful (in my less bratty moments).
My Facial Surgery
On Sunday, it will be 10 months since my FFS (facial feminization surgery). I have things to say about that, which I’ll include in an upcoming post of its own.
Suffice it to say the same mostly applies to that as well: lingering discomfort / occasional brattiness / intense gratefulness.